Nice Try!

I THINK I probably deserve some kind of award for having recently endured twelve long hours with a slice of lemon peel lodged in my throat. Hovering on the very edge of existence like a hapless window cleaner dangling from the last skyscraper in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it seemed that nothing was capable of removing this unwanted guest and throughout my dark night of the soul I was neither human nor lemon but a simultaneous fusion of citric bitterness and political bile.

Retrospectively, I now realise that after forty years of carefully avoiding Israeli produce the twisted golems at Mossad HQ finally decided to subject my windpipe to the only form of attack they know: occupation. Thankfully, my oesophagus waged its own mini-intifada and normal service was resumed.