Parasite's Progress

I RECENTLY saw a nature documentary about a nasty parasite known as the Toxoplasma gondi, which rewires the brain of its host and effectively takes it over. When it is eaten by a snail, for example, you can see it squirming around in one of the creature's transparent eye-stalks, throbbing away like some kind of alien entity that is poised to emerge from the body of an unsuspecting astronaut. Toxoplasma also thrives in household cats, apparently, although it rarely does them any harm. More worryingly, when it is eaten by a rat the rodent suddenly loses all fear of cats and when the parasite has taken control of its mind is steered towards a feline with the ultimate result that the rat is killed and the parasite makes its way into the welcoming intestines of the cat. Mission accomplished.

I'm wondering if cats have ever stumbled across a Protocols of the Learned Elders of Toxoplasma, by which it is revealed that a coterie of ruthless parasites are planning world domination by taking over the workings of the feline intellect and turning these fiercely independent animals into domesticated zombies who spend most of their worthless lives slumped on the sofa. Even if some cats dismiss the very idea of such a wicked and dastardly plan, there may be others who allege that the events described are nonetheless coming true.