Piecemeal Existence
CLICKBAIT ‘journalism’ drives me absolutely insane. It's like waiting for some long-winded bore to get to the point, by which time you've already lost interest and fallen asleep. Just imagine if we had to live our daily lives in such a fashion.
One bright morning, for example, little Johnny wakes up and asks his mother what he can have for breakfast. Instead of giving him an immediate answer, such as “eggs and bacon” or “cornflakes,” she provides the poor lad with a sensationalised history of the great British breakfast; complete with neighbourly endorsements and celebrity soundbites.
This is followed by a short commercial break, during which the child is introduced to a wide range of confectionery upon which he may (or may not) decide to lavish his meagre pocket money. Once the advertisement has finished and the tantalising images of chocolate and crisps have been swiped away with an irritated wave of the hand, the mother continues with a long diatribe about the traditional time that breakfast usually takes place and the precise seat upon which each family member must sit and why.
More advertising follows, on this occasion a short video about the latest computer games on offer at the local toy shop, after which mother provides her son with a detailed graph containing the exact percentages of marmalade on toast and lumpy porridge that Johnny has consumed during the first 247 days of the year.
Finally, in the wake of further company promotions and a series of recommended aids for digestion, Johnny is informed that the larder is empty and that he will have to go to school hungry.