Strange Fruit

LISTENING as someone reads you a long list of fruits that cats may (or may not) be capable of consuming, whilst knowing full well that our particular cat finds all fruit utterly repulsive, is about as useful as being told to hide under the kitchen table during a nuclear attack. Each time I thrust a banana, apple or pear in his general direction, he immediately recoils in disgust. Visually, his facial features may be said to pass through a series of four distinct modes: (a) mildly offended, (b) visibly disturbed, (c) deeply shocked, and (d) how on earth do these humans eat this revolting crap when the world is full of succulent mice, small birds and tinned tuna?